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How to "Change Your Own Oil":

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to Fleet Farm and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree: $60.00.
2) Stop by Kwik Trip and buy a case of beer; $20.00, drive home.
3) Open a beer.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new TV.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to LUBEPLUS to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Drive to the Mini-Mart; buy more beer. $20
22) Install new oil filter.(goes surprisingly well ;))
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Realize that the drain plug is buried in a hole in the back yard along with the old oil.
27) Drink more beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink more beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on crossmember in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992).
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining bottles of new oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call spouse to make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts $60.00
DUI $4500.00
Impound fee $150.00
Bail $2000.00
Total-- $6750.00 (and don't forget your time)

Oil Change Instructions for Smart People:

1) Pull in to LUBEPLUS 
2) Relax.
3) 10-15 minutes later, when your oil change is completed, give/show the LUBEPLUS cashier $4 OFF coupon from this website, pay(much less than $6750), and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

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LUBEPLUS Services include; Full Service Quick Lube Oil Changes, Fast Lube Oil Change, Oil and Lube, Transmission Flush/Flushes, Coolant Flush, Serpentine Belt Replacement, Tire Rotation,
Fuel System Service, Differential Service/Services, and Transfer Case Service. We also carry and install most any required new Air Filter, Wipers, Headlight or misc Automotive Light / Lights.    

carries most brands of oil including Pennzoil, Quaker State, Valvoline, Amsoil, Castrol GTX, Havoline, & Rotella T, and has serviced vehicles for customers from all
over, including, Appleton WI, Bear Creek WI, Black Creek WI, Combined Locks WI, Darboy WI, De Pere WI, Freedom WI, Fremont WI, Green  Bay WI, Greenville WI,
Hortonville WI, Kaukauna WI, Kimberly WI, Larsen WI, Little Chute WI, Menasha WI, Neenah WI, New London WI, Oshkosh WI, Shiocton, WI, Waupaca WI,
Winchester WI, Winneconne WI, Wrightstown WI, and all the other cities and towns across Wisconsin.

If you are in need of quality concrete construction in the Fox Valley Area, Main Concrete Inc proudly serves the following Wisconsin cities, towns, and surrounding areas, including: Abrams WI, Allouez WI, Almond WI, Amherst WI, Amherst Junction WI, Appleton WI, Ashwaubenon WI, Bancroft WI, Bear Creek WI, Bellevue WI, Berlin WI, Black Creek WI, Bonduel WI, Bowler WI, Brandon WI, Brillion WI, Cato WI, Chain O' Lakes-King WI, Chilton WI, Clintonville WI, Coloma WI, Combined Locks WI, Dale WI, Denmark WI, De Pere WI, Eden WI, Eldorado WI, Elkhart Lake WI, Embarrass WI, Fond du Lac WI, Fox Crossing WI, Francis Creek WI, Freedom WI, Fremont WI, Gillett WI, Glenbeulah WI, Grand Chute WI, Green Bay WI, Green Lake WI, Greenleaf WI, Greenville WI, Hancock WI, Harrison WI, Hilbert WI, Hortonville WI, Howard WI, Iola WI, Kaukauna WI, Keshena WI, Kiel WI, Kimberly WI, King WI, Kingston WI, Larsen WI, Little Chute WI, Lohrville WI, Lomira WI, Luxemburg WI, Manawa WI, Manitowoc WI, Maribel WI, Markesan WI, Marion WI, Menasha WI, Montello WI, Mt Calvary WI, Neenah WI, Neshkoro WI, New Holstein WI, New London WI, North Fond du Lac WI, Oakfield WI, Oconto Falls WI, Ogdensburg WI, Omro WI, Oneida WI, Oshkosh WI, Plainfield WI, Plover WI, Plymouth WI, Princeton WI, Pulaski WI, Reedsville WI, Redgranite WI, Ripon WI, Rosendale WI, Rosholt WI, Scandinavia WI, Seymour WI, Shawano WI, Sherwood WI, Shiocton WI, St Cloud WI, Stevens Point WI, St Nazianz WI, Stockbridge WI, Suamico WI, Tigerton WI, Two Rivers WI, Valders WI, Waupaca WI, Waupun WI, Wautoma WI, Westfield WI, Weyauwega WI, Whitelaw WI, Wild Rose WI, Winneconne WI, Wisconsin Rapids WI, Wittenberg WI, Wrightstown WI